AtKingDavid'sTable

Painting with pain

2012-02-19T15:30:00.000-08:00

Prowler on the Loose

2010-07-07T18:26:00.000-07:00

I read something today that caught my attention. I had heard it many times before, but really just didn't know what to do with it. Or you could say that I didn't feel like it applied to me. Today I have changed my mind. I stand corrected.
According to 1 Peter 5:8 "[My]enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." So there is a prowler on the loose. And he is looking to devour me. Something that I find interesting- in the beginning of that verse- it says for me to "be self-controlled and alert". I have been none of these things lately. I have been so distracted with life that I have not been self-controlled, alert or anything but crazy. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off most of the time. I don't know about you, but I feel like I am an easy target right about now. Because lions can smell blood and they gravitate towards it.
With my life being a 3 ring circus lately I have had no time for anything important (like God for starters). I do not really know where to go from here. All I know is that I need help. Please pray for me. I am in need and I don't really know how to help myself at this point. There is still things to be done, and I want them done, but I also feel the need to spend time with God. I am torn between the physical that needs to be done and the spiritual that is pressing, but not visible. They both are important, I just need to be able to make time to fill my spiritual needs then God will take care of the physical, right? He always has in the past. I just have to trust Him with the here and now.

Be Still And Know That I am God

2010-07-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

This has been one crazy, hectic past month for me. I am glad June is finally over. I am looking forward to some new things and wanting to get settled. We just recently moved from a 3 bedroom Double Wide into our own stick built (from the ground up) 3 bedroom house. We are loving it. I am especially thankful to be out of the DW completely. It seemed like a long drawn out process. Through it all God has been there for us and taken great care of me and mine. These last 2 weeks I have heard several people saying things that all come back to Psalm 46:10. "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted in the nations I will be exalted in the earth." God has been calling me to be still. I don't know how many of you have problems with this like I do, but it is not always easy. It is quite the opposite. I learned today that I got this trait from my mom. She was a busy woman almost all the time. She did not know how to be still. I am not sure that I know how to do that also. I am trying though. I took the time the other morning to watch the birds and fish in the water at the park before work. It was a nice time. I have found that when I take time to be still and let God take care of things, the things I give to him seem to go more smoothly. Like our move. I was trying to coordinate it all and make sure that we had the people we needed to get it all done. My help was possibly unable to help me. God told me He would take care of it, and so I let Him do so. Whenever I tried to take control of things again, I just had to give it back to Him and let Him do what He does best. He took care of it all so much better than I could. Praise His Name. I guess I said all that to say this. Trust Him and let Him take care of it all. Cast your all your anxiety upon Him because He cares for you. I did and He does.

I'm Not Super Woman

2009-10-12T17:58:00.000-07:00

I learned this past week that I am not Super Woman or Super Mom for that matter. Both my husband and my son were sick this past week which left me to take care of both of them and our daughter. This was not an easy task for me. The reason why I say this is because I was unable to do anything even semi productive around the house. I was basically laid up with my son because he wanted me all the time. He didn't want me to leave him for any reason. My son is 5 years old and can do some things for himself. He just wanted to be Momma's boy and be held and coddled for 6 days. This left me emotionally, mentally and physically drained. I am still recuperating from this time. God has been good to me and sent His angels (in the form of my Bible Study group) to minister to me just like He did for Jesus in the Garden of Gesthemane. This was a blessing to me and I don't think I could say thank you enough for all they did for me last night. Their touch and words of prayer and encouragement strengthened me and helped me to know that I am not alone. I don't have to be Super Woman and do this all on my own either. God has given me a family through this church and bible study, and I am blessed to have them in my life.
What I have learned these past two days is that God wants me to spend time with Him (not working for Him or doing things), but just spending quality time with Him. And do you want to know why? Because He likes me and He wants to spend time with me. He loves me and thinks I am special. This is something that is contrary to the way I perceive things. I have done nothing (absolutely nothing) to make Him want to spend time with me. I have not ministered to anyone, not encouraged anyone, not read my Bible or even been faithful in my Love Dare. But none of that matters to Him. He loves me for who I am and not what I can do, did do or even will do or won't do. He just loves me. How can that be? Don't I have to work for His approval? Don't I have to do something to help Him to love me? No, not at all. This is still a new concept to me. This is something that I am having to learn even about my new family. They love me just because I am me also. Not because of what I can bring to the table. (Which right now is nothing. Absolutely nothing, because I am broken just as Mephibosheth.)
To all who know me and love me, I just want to say thank you so much. You loving me the way Christ loves me helps me to see and know Him better. Keep up the good work church. God bless you.

Will You Trust Him?

2008-12-17T03:30:00.000-08:00

I was having a moment where I was trying to "do it all" all by myself. There were many things going through my head this morning and I was wanting to be able to fix them on my own. When I came to a quiet second (a breath between thoughts), I heard the Lord ask me, "Will you trust Me?" I don't know about you, but the Lord has been asking me to trust Him alot lately. It is (for my flesh) a scary place to be. The reason for this email is simple. I just wanted to share with you ladies something that I learned this morning so that maybe it will be a help to you as you journey through life. I was consumed and worried about different things in my life and I was really and truly talking to God about them, but I was not really and truly trusting that God would take care of them. I was praying about them, but I wasn't believing that God would take care of the problems that I offered Him. So, here is my suggestion, my little insight into "What God wants from you", All God really wants from you (and me) is that we trust Him. We believe Him. If we do, then when we pray about something we will not keep revisiting it over and over again in our minds (yes, I am speaking of myself), but we will relinquish the problem over to our Big, Loving, Caring, All-knowing, All-mighty Heavenly Father. The One who is on our side. The One who cares so deeply for us and our problems. And, LET HIM HAVE THEM. Don't try and do it on our own, but completley surrender our problems to Him and sit back and watch Him work... be willing to trust Him. Will you trust Him today?
I know for me, I am going to try. Have a blessed day ladies, and know that I love you and so does your Creator. He loves you so much that not only has He told us to cast all our cares (anxieties) upon Him, but He has also inscribed us on the palm of His hand (Isaiah 49:16).

Think on These Things

2008-05-20T03:33:00.000-07:00

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say Rejoice! Let your patient spirit be known to all me. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things. The things you have learned and heard and seen in me, practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you. Philippians 4:4-9
Last night I had a life changing experience. I was having a rough time getting my thoughts to line up with God’s will. He had asked me to do something and I was struggling with doing it. God had been preparing me all day for last night, and I can say that only with the prayers of my husband, the faithfulness of my God and the words of wisdom that He gave me throughout the day in remembrance of a few faithful ones words was I able to make through last night and do what He wanted me to do. I did become willing and obedient and I did eat the good of the land. God is faithful, dear friends, God is faithful. He did not leave me or forsake me. He was there with me through my trial. I chose to include a longer passage of Scripture than just the one He gave me last night because there was so much more that came with it. He gave me verse 8 that tells us what to think on. All He really said was “think on these things.” I knew what He meant at this time for me because I had been trying to change my thinking so that it would line up with God’s will prior to this time. But as most of you women can attest, and possibly you men also, it is hard to think on something that is not “in your face.” Let me give you an example. God has told me “Be patient My child, I am working.” I can easily hold onto that word when things are going well, but when things are not going so well: the van’s brakes need to be changed due to an ugly noise; Kevin’s job is not starting full time until July or maybe August; the kids will be without a place to go for the summer… (the list could go on and on), that’s when I really need to be focusing on Him and being patient, because even though I cannot see Him working to fix these problems… He is. I need to focus on the times that He has been faithful to me and my family. For example, God gave me a free ticket to a concert in Nashville, TN last September. And I had such a wonderful time and was truly blessed by the experience. If I would not have trusted Him I would not have had that ticket or that experience. And one that just happened Sunday: God orchestrated a meeting with a new friend Sunday night that brought me into a situation where I will be able to have support and encouragement from other law enforcement wives. This meeting could only have been done by the hand of God. He brought us both there (when one was not planning on coming), had my mother-in-law there who had worked at this lady’s dentist a while back, and had allowed or even caused (I don’t know which) a problem with the sound system so that we could talk for a moment about this new group that has only been going for 2 months. God is such a good and faithful God. When I choose to focus on the negative then the negative becomes bigger, but when I choose to focus on the positive then the positive becomes bigger. I like what a lady of God said one time, she said, “Do you see what happens when we focus more on our battles than on God? Our enemy appears bigger, we appear weaker and our God appears smaller. Beware! Long term battle can cause vision impairment if we look anywhere but up!” This is oh so true. Let’s turn our eyes upon Jesus the author and perfector of our faith. He will take care of us. “I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, Maker of Heaven and earth.” Will you look with me, to the God of our salvation. To the one that will take care of all of our needs. Let’s do as the Philippians were exhorted and Rejoice! God is a great God, and greatly to be praised. Notice what verse 9 says in the passage I quoted , after Paul had exhorted them to think on things that were uplifting and encouraging he said this “…and the God of peace shall be with you.” How many of you does not need a God of peace with you? I know I surely do. One that will calm the storm in my mind and my heart, one that will assure me that He is working even though I cannot see Him. One that will take my hand, trembling as it may be, and walk with me back to the boat, through the storm and then calm the storm once we are in the boat together. He is the God that I want. One that knows when to calm my storm and when to calm His child. God bless you. Thank you for sharing your time with me while I share my heart with you. Until next time, the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace. In Jesus Mighty Name I pray. Amen

My Beloved

2008-01-18T14:58:00.001-08:00

“Listen! My Beloved! Behold He is coming, climbing on mountains, leaping on the hills! My Beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.”
He is coming for me. There is joy in His steps. His steps are so light because He is filled with such love for me.
“Behold, He is standing behind our wall. He is looking through the windows, He is peering through the lattice.”
The wall I built. He is looking through. He is looking through to see the real me. I so desire someone to see the real me and still love me. That’s Him. My Beloved. (I saw a small window in a wall and He was peering in at me.) I asked Him if He would still love me the same if He could see all of me. The real me. And this is what He said:
“Arise My darling, My beautiful one and come along.”
When I looked, my wall was only three feet high. He was taking it down as I asked. Except, I was still afraid to stand up. When I saw this and heard Him say, “Arise My love, My beautiful one and come along” I took a chance and arose. Then I was reminded of the words of King David who must have been through the same thing, because he wrote,
“For by Thee I have run through a troop; by my God I leaped over a wall.”
So I will run through the troop of nay-sayers and thoughts of condemnation and rejection and fear, and I, by my God, with His hand holding tight to mine, will leap over this wall and will, as He says, “Come along.”
For it was for freedom that Christ set me free. And I must keep standing, standing firm, and not be subject again to the yoke of slavery.
For as I heard Him say to me,
“Behold, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone (the torrential, overwhelming rain is over and the flooding is gone). The flowers have already appeared in the land (so let’s enjoy them together you and I). The time has arrived for singing, and the voice of turtledoves has been heard in our land. The fig tree has ripened its figs, the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance. Arise My darling, My beautiful one and come along.”
This was written with my hand but through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit one morning while I was attending a dance conference. This word comes from the Song of Solomon chapter 2 beginning in verse 8. This was so real to me. When I began writing this there was so much love and so much joy in what I saw and heard.
Jesus is My Beloved. He is the one that is calling to me and to you. He wants us to come along. Not to stand still so that we grow stagnant and lose hope, but to come along and enjoy the things that He has prepared for each and every one of us.
When I said “I so desire for someone to see the real me and still love me”, that part is so true in my life. This was something new to me, something that I did not recognize until the Holy Spirit revealed it to me. I had been hiding for so long that no one really knew the real me… not even me.
What I want you to get from this is that you, dear one, are loved. You are dearly loved by the Creator of the universe, by YOUR Creator. He not only created everything that you see, but He also created you, and He loves you so passionately. The other thing that I want you to get from this is that He is safe. There is no need to fear. I have found this to be true in my own life. I have had do step out from behind my own self-built walls to let myself be seen by the light, and when I did, I was safe. I was not harmed or shamed in any way. There was only love, and peace. I am still working on staying out from behind some of these walls that I built. They still stand only 3 feet tall, but I have to stay out from behind them even though they are familiar, because they are far from my Beloved who desires to love me and to be my safety.
Will you let Him love you today, and rest in His love? The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous runs into it and is SAFE.

Mephibosheth

2007-12-17T05:48:00.001-08:00

Mephibosheth. “Who or what is he and what does he have to do with me?”
Good question. I am glad you asked. He has a lot in common with me and he may also have a thing or two in common with you and “your story”. I was fascinated by his story and also his name. In the following paragraphs I will give you a quick overview of who he was and hopefully answer your question of “What does he have to do with me?”. So please follow along as I recount this man’s life:
Mephibosheth was Saul’s grandson and Jonathan’s son (2 Samuel 4:4). He became lame in his feet at the age of 5 when his nurse dropped him, both his feet were now useless. In that day and time his lame feet also carried with it shame and a label of uselessness.
After the death of Saul and Jonathan, King David wanted to honor his promise to Jonathan. David promised him he would not cut off his kindness from Jonathan’s house-ever (1 Samuel 20:14-15). So he made it a point to find out if there was anyone left from the “house of Saul”. He was looking for anyone he could bless. He found Mephibosheth, a man who was wounded not only in his physical body, but also in his mentality. Mephibosheth knew he was a broken man, and David could tell he felt this way about himself also when he asked David what he wanted with a “dead dog” like himself. David did not change his mind about blessing him because he couldn’t walk or because he felt unworthy to receive anything from the king. On the contrary, David had made a choice before hand to bless him and keep his promise to Jonathan when Jonathan was still alive and well. Mephibosheth’s lack of ability to walk meant nothing to David, his promise and his word, meant everything. His promise was unconditional. Because of this promise Mephibosheth was allowed to dine with the king at his table. Wow! How’s that for royal treatment?
God also made a promise, one that concerns me and you. He made this promise and the choice to keep it even before He formed us in our mother’s wombs. “But God demonstrated His own love towards us, that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “What does that mean for me?”, you may ask. Well, listen to what Jesus said, “I came that you may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows)”. How’s that for a promise?
Have you feel like you’ve been “dropped” or injured along the way? If so, there is good news for you. God is faithful to care for His people. Even more so than David did for Jonathan’s family. God’s desire is to bless you and give you life. I pray that He will use this blog to do just that.
Come along on a journey as I take you through stages in my life where the Lord has brought me from a Mephibosheth mentality to an “I am my Beloved’s, and His desire is for me”, mentality. God wants this for you, and He has sent me to tell you this. He loves you beloved, and He desires to have you by His side. He is waiting for you. Won’t you come. You don’t have to be perfect or whole or have it all together. God knows I surely didn’t (and still don't), even though I tried to make everyone (including myself) think that I was and that I did, but I was far from those things. But He called me any way, and He loved me anyway (warts and all), and He is calling you too. If you listen real close you can hear Him. “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one and come along.”