Good Morning God

It's been a long time God. You and I have always had a close relationship, but there are also those many times in my life that I can say that I've wandered away from You and done my own thing. This happens to be one of those times. I don't really know why or how  I end up like this. I just know that I do so periodically. I also know that You are always there waiting for me to come back to you.
So, here I am  God. I'm ready to come home. I know that this is Your desire too. Please help me to make this transition a smooth one. I've been my own person, done my own thing and wanted  this life that I've created for myself. Now, I'd like to come back to You and do Your thing. Be Your life, Your child.

My heart

So,  I went to a women's retreat last month. I really enjoyed catching up with some old friends. Plus, also meeting some new ones. While there I was asked to share. I knew this ahead of time, but I didn't know what to share. I've probably shared this with you before, but I needed a little background so this would make sense. Before I was to share the ladies all laid their hands on me and prayed for me. One lady in particular had a word from the Lord for me me. She saw my heart. She said it was beautiful, pink and locked up. I had my heart locked up. It's true.  I've been scared to allow people in. To let God in.  I saw that this morning as I was lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off. I wanted to allow God to have my heart. To open it, but after I told Him He could I became afraid. That old fear that lingers still. I want Him to have access to my heart, but vulnerability... real vulnerability is a scary thing for me. A scary place. I know all the right things to say to encourage someone to open up, but to actually do it myself , scares me.
That's where Iam right now. No great break throughs, only this revelation.  Thanks for letting me share.