My heart

So,  I went to a women's retreat last month. I really enjoyed catching up with some old friends. Plus, also meeting some new ones. While there I was asked to share. I knew this ahead of time, but I didn't know what to share. I've probably shared this with you before, but I needed a little background so this would make sense. Before I was to share the ladies all laid their hands on me and prayed for me. One lady in particular had a word from the Lord for me me. She saw my heart. She said it was beautiful, pink and locked up. I had my heart locked up. It's true.  I've been scared to allow people in. To let God in.  I saw that this morning as I was lying in bed waiting for my alarm to go off. I wanted to allow God to have my heart. To open it, but after I told Him He could I became afraid. That old fear that lingers still. I want Him to have access to my heart, but vulnerability... real vulnerability is a scary thing for me. A scary place. I know all the right things to say to encourage someone to open up, but to actually do it myself , scares me.
That's where Iam right now. No great break throughs, only this revelation.  Thanks for letting me share.